Hi, My name is Eboney, and before this all began, I was, and still am an exercise trainer. I’ve been doing this for over 20 years. I’ve worked in health clubs, leisure centres, clients homes, led boot camp in parks. This is my passion. I love this industry.
Gyms closed over night and my livelihood stopped, just like that. My passion, my drive, my first love, overnight had disappeared. Or at the time, it had felt like that. My phone was going mad, other instructors feeling the same, not angry, just a sense of disbelief. What the hell had just happened? How are we going to survive? No work, no income. A feeling of loss and despair.
Two things happened:
- Those who still had the drive and will, began to plan ways of taking their skills and talents on-line.
- Some went into remorse and self-reflection, and if possible, maybe wait it out and try to get through this until lock down ended.
Me, I stopped, and I mean literally stopped. There was nothing I wanted to do, I didn’t want to teach- I didn’t even want to move. I had no will to exercise/train or to engage with fellow peers or clients. Nothing!
I did begin to drink daily, eat more, and I began waking up later during the day. Deep down I knew this was wrong, it didn’t feel right, and yet I couldn’t stop. All this on top of home schooling, cooking, cleaning, not seeing my vulnerable parents and covid-19.
Yes, I was down, in a slump, and I guess, depressed. I was doing the best to get through “unprecedented times”. But surely, was it just me? Was I the only one who was having these feelings? Feelings of doubt, anxiousness, emptiness, being tired, feeling unhappy, fear, and……how did this happen? Deep, right?
Feelings are processes that tap into our emotions, consciously or subconsciously. Psychologists believe we may experience over 20 different emotions. The classic being:
Emotions awaken different types feelings, it drives how we interact with others, determines our moods, how we make decisions.
During this time I believe my feelings were telling me it was time for a change. I was over working, running a family, yes, running a family – not being part of a family. Sad, I know. Work was just to make enough money for food, bills, living. A treadmill of just surviving. Then it stopped. Wow! I had time to think, review and reflect. During that time of heavy drinking, overeating eating, nothingness, I knew I had to change.
It’s funny, throughout life there are moments, reoccurring thoughts or feelings that are pushed deep to the back of your mind because you have no time, there isn’t enough time. If only I had more time, “I would love to go away more, spend more time with the family, travel the world, have new adventures”.
Now in my moment of time, I have decided to make the most of it, because it absolutely scares me to think I could be going back to that old way of life. So this is my moment for change; a new adventure.
Amazing women taking small steps to create big change.
Fitbutwomen – A Health & Lifestyle community where women, aged 40-60 going through the Menopause can share ideas, information and advice. A forum that’s tailor made for mature women’s training, fitness and mental health. I would love for you to come and join me. So,
Until next time.